


New Home, New Beginning, Damn Crush.

by hoveringcat9



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Bisexual Sam Winchester, Charlie Bradbury & Dean Winchester Friendship, Charlie Bradbury and Sam Winchester are gossips, College Student Sam Winchester, Dean and Cas live in the same building, Dom/sub Undertones, Gabriel (Supernatural) Loves Candy, Gabriel Being Gabriel (Supernatural), Gay Castiel (Supernatural), Gay Dean Winchester, Hurt Dean Winchester, Interior Designer Gabriel, Internalized Homophobia, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, M/M, Mechanic Dean Winchester, POV Dean Winchester, POV Multiple, Pansexual Gabriel, Parental Bobby Singer, Shy Dean Winchester, novak brothers - Freeform, realtor castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-10-22 08:50:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17659625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoveringcat9/pseuds/hoveringcat9
Summary: Dean has moved into a new apartment after taking time to accept himself, meeting resident Castiel Novak has him crushing hard.





	New Home, New Beginning, Damn Crush.

**Author's Note:**

> This wasn't meant to be so long, I hope you like it.

"So have you spoke to him yet?" Dean closed his eyes while doing his best not to sigh. Sammy meant well but it was just so hard. 

"He's called Castiel Novak." 

Sam let out an enthusiastic whoop that had Dean pulling the phone away to protect his hearing. "Oh my God, Dean you actually did it, you talked to the guy." 

"No, because he's terrifying, some of his mail was in my box." God, he was so pathetic, so much for his new start. Dean moved away from the window to stretch out on the couch. Preparing himself for some rallying words from Sam.

"And I'm guessing you didn't head to his apartment to give him the mail." oh, Dean hadn't thought of that, he'd placed it under the door when Cas was out.

"That's right." 

"Dean, you've been there almost a month now, I know this is hard for you but you can do it." Sam always had such faith in him, currently in his third year of college; Dean couldn't wait for him to come home.

He called every week, more since Dean had finally felt ready to move out of Bobby's. Growing up Dean had taken care of Sam, while John lost himself in whiskey, spinning a web of vicious words at Dean, tying him into knots.

Words that were etched too deep to ever be rid of like: How no son of his could be a fairy, how Winchester men loved women and always did the fucking. When he felt words no longer worked he used his fists.

Dean never understood if his father loved women so much, how he could talk about them with such contempt. As if women were less than the dirt on his shoe. 

All Dean wanted was a nice man to love him.

On the nights he'd spent with women to make his father proud, he'd felt nothing. When times were really bad, he would slip away to a bar for liaisons of a different kind. Encounters that ended with him on his knees, humiliated, hard and wanting from men who didn't reciprocate. It always led him back to John's rhetoric that his desires were disgusting. 

He and Sam had finally escaped his clutches after he'd hit Sammy, Dean had broken down confessing all to his little brother and Uncle Bobby. 

That night Dean Winchester was gifted acceptance.

Moving in had been hard enough that he hadn't factored a crush into the equation, he'd walked into the building with his last box and Baby safe in her parking spot. When he noticed a man looking through his mail, he was around the same height as himself with messy black hair.

Dean found himself staring and got caught. And of course, this unnamed man with messy hair, amazing blue eyes was gorgeous. Dean was blushing in no time, thankfully the stranger was nice enough to pretend not to notice, instead choosing to smile and welcome him to the building.

Dean had nodded, mouthed a few vowel sounds before running to his apartment to call Sam for what was no doubt a code red emergency.

Sam had been great, listening to Dean bemoan the unfairness of it all. That had been a month ago.

* * *

Sam's wish came to fruition the following day. Being Dean's day off he was predictably under Baby's hood when it happened.

"She's a beautiful car," Dean jumped immediately hitting his head in the process. "Sorry, are you okay?" God, that voice was so deep and rich it had Dean suppressing a whimper. 

Reluctantly pulling away from his hiding spot, Dean met the beautiful eyes of Castiel Novak. Seriously how were they so blue? "I'm good, thanks, um I'm Dean Winchester." okay as starts went that wasn't bad, maybe he could do this. 

Just as long as he didn't focus on the fact that Cas was older and would surely want someone with more experience than Dean had. If he wasn't straight in the first place.

"Castiel Novak," the man offers his hand before continuing, "I really didn't mean to startle you, only I had to come over for a closer look. I've been admiring her for weeks." 

"Yeah?" hot with a great voice, beautiful eyes and a love for cars. Cas was the perfect crush. Not forgetting his manners Dean finally took Cas' outstretched hand, it felt smooth and strong, Dean definitely didn't want to let go.

"She really is a beautiful car, Dean." smiling Dean let go of Cas (unfortunately). 

"Thanks, she's a 1967 Chevy Impala, my Dad had her..." no, no, no, don't go down that road. Dean stopped, liking how Cas gave him time, once he got himself under control he continued, "She's mine now."

"Lucky her." Cas smiled throwing him a wink that in no way had Dean blushing. "Day off?" 

"Yeah, I'm just hanging out here today." great now he sounded like some kind of loser without friends. "What do you do?" 

"I'm in property development with my brothers, which is all very boring so I won't bother you with the details." 

"And if I want to be bothered?" Dean simultaneously felt his eyes go wide as his cheeks flamed. Had those words actually come out of his mouth? Cas was probably so insulted. The guy had come over to say hello and Dean was practically throwing himself at him. "Sorry Cas, I mean something like that sounds kind of cool to a grease monkey like me." 

"Cas?" 

"Sorry again, I have a thing with nicknames and Castiel is kind of a mouthful." 

"I like it, my older brother lumbered me with Cassie years ago and it stuck a little too well." Dean chuckles before trying his best to cover it with a cough. "Hey, you can laugh I won't hold it against you." since he has permission Dean does so. "Well I should be going, it was really nice to speak with you, Dean." 

Dean nods in agreement because his voice has deserted him, before turning back to Baby in aid to keep him staring at Castiel. When its finally safe Dean calls Charlie since Sam will be busy in school.

"Heyo Deano." greets her normally cheery voice. 

"Charlie, can you talk? You won't believe what just happened." Dean leans on his car once the hood is down not willing to injure himself again.

"Ooh, are you calling with gossip? Hit me, nothing much is happening here." Charlie works the reception and also manages their computer operations because she's a whiz that often does freelance top-secret computering. So she says, Dean believes it knowing she has mad skills.

"I was working on Baby and Cas just came up and we talked!" so perhaps it wasn't the juiciest slices of gossip but for Dean it was huge.

"Uh huh, tell me did you push him up against the car and ravish him." 

"What! Charlie of course not. We just talked." Dean could hear groaning on the line but didn't take it to heart knowing Charlie was only mocking him.

"You should invite him over to watch the game, leave a note for him on his door if you don't think you can ask him," she suggested which actually sounded like a good idea.

"What if he doesn't like football, hell Charlie I don't like football." 

"That's a good thing, that way the tv won't stop you from making out." 

"God, why did I even call you?" he asks his voice light. "And don't mention this to Sam." 

"I wouldn't dare, see you tomorrow, Dean." 

* * *

Dean spent the rest of the afternoon thinking about Charlie's suggestion, it was a really good idea. It could be construed as just two bros hanging out and nothing more. It was a way to reach out, with the action happening at his place which gave him the control.

If Cas didn't show he could settle down on his couch with a bowl of chips and watch a film. Indiana was always good for cheering him up. So really it was a win-win. 

Quickly checking that Cas' car was still out - it was - Dean grabbed a pen and paper to write a quick note. He ran to place it on his door, hoping for the best on his return. He'd asked Cas to come around at seven when the game started (there was always something on) so he now had two hours to tidy, rustle up some food, and above all not freak out.

Dean was seeing to the finishing touches when his cell rang, it was Sam. "So did you do it?" fucking Charlie, truthfully her blabbing came as no real surprise.

"Yes, I'm freaking out a bit so a load of questions won't help me." letting his eyes roam over the place for anything he might have missed Dean was confronted with rainbows, damn Charlie and her mission the let the flag fly.

They were sort of at an impasse, he never noticed at first but every few days after her coming over he found something new. Not wanting to encourage her by mouthing off rather choosing to ignore it (the unicorn, however, had gone straight to Goodwill). "Uh, Sammy I've got to go," says Dean moving to gather everything up (Cushion, literal flag, magnets, pens) which would be easier with two hands.

Sam sighed, "You got this Dean, just relax and be yourself." yeah because a High School dropout has high chances of ensnaring someone older and sophisticated like Cas. "Let me know how it goes, the PG parts anyway." Sam teases as someone knocks on his door.

Dean says goodbye, casting a quick glance around the place. Was the overly tidy apartment and food too much? Sam had told him to be himself and food is very much Dean. With the talking to finished, he opens the door finding Cas holding his note and looking extremely hot in tight black jeans and a button down shirt.

"I assume this is from you since I doubt anyone else knows my name. Or at least no-one I'd want to spend time with anyway." Oh God, that sounded like flirting. He thought so anyway, was gay flirting different to straight flirting? Dean had no clue.

On closer inspection, it's plain to see the note has no signature, fuck he's such an idiot. And he knows all about not calling himself bad names, but he's doing it anyway. "Yes, I didn't realize." Cas shrugs as if telling him it's no big deal. "Does that mean you're coming in?" 

"I'd like too, yes." Dean steps aside allowing Cas to enter the apartment.

"Can I get you a drink?" Dean rubs his neck unconsciously before adding, "I don't have any beer, is coke okay?" Cas nods moving towards the couch as Dean heads to the kitchen.

He hadn't thought about getting any beers in, preferring to do his drinking outside of his apartment. On some level, he worries about becoming like John, that one day he'll go the way of his father and lose his hurt at the bottom of a bottle. Still, one six pack wouldn't have hurt.

He brings the drinks in, Cas thanking him with his eyes glued to the tv he doesn't see Dean leave again until a tray is set in front of him holding sliders and fries.

"Dean, did you make this?" he asks his voice loud and excited. 

Oh God, he didn't mention food in his note either, had Cas already eaten? Was he a vegetarian? "Yeah, um I thought we could eat while watching the game, sorry I should have checked only it's after seven and I just thought you'd be hungry." Dean can feel the panic lick at his skin, should he take the food away or...

"Dean, calm down." Dean gasps at the light touch of Cas' hand on his wrist, the noise making Cas withdraw. Yet he can still feel the heat of it and he really wants it back. "Sit down." Dean does as instructed, his first thought is that the couch is definitely too small. He's squashed up right against Cas, their legs touching, he can't say he doesn't like it, Cas' body heat is too good. 

"Dean I wasn't displeased by the food, just surprised, happily surprised that you had gone to so much trouble, it's been a long while since anyone's done something like this for me and I fucking love sliders." Dean nods in understanding feeling good, Cas made him feel good and calm.

Dean smiles watching in wait as Cas takes one, Dean enjoys making food for people, for a while, it was the only thing he could do for Sammy. He was barely old enough to work the stove but he was far from able to get them away from John. 

He often believes that taking care of his brother paired with the closeness they shared is what gave him the strength to flea and confess.

A sudden moan pulls Dean out of his head, oh fuck, the worries about Cas liking his food are gone at least. Now he's more worried about what reactions those noises are going to do to him. "Shall we watch the game?"

"Honestly, I'm not much of a game person," Cas confesses quickly grabbing another slider.

"Hey, leave some for me!"

"You can have these anytime you want, I need to have my fill, Dean! They're fucking delicious," whines Cas. He doesn't need to see the blush to know its there, what the hell was he meant to say to that?

"Let's look for something to watch." phew crisis avoided, it was probably best to let it well alone and ignore it. Flicking through the channels Dean stops on an all too familiar Doctor.

"Yes, Doctor Sexy!" cries Cas.

Fuck, did someone steal into his dreams and make off with the blueprints to his perfect man?

The episode they land on is luckily the start of a marathon, that has the two of them settling down all nice and comfy with good food.

**A Few Hours Later**

Dean felt weird, his sides were different temperatures the right was a little chilly whereas his right side felt warm and perfect. It smelled _so_ good, cinnamon and coconut all deep and fresh.

Wait! When did warmth smell? Had he lit a candle and forgotten? Pfft, like he had candles.

He feels a warm air across his hair as his comfy cushion moves, opening his eyes he spots the empty slider tray and Doctor Sexy running from a fire. Quicker than he'd like he's jolted fully awake by and increasing ripple of panic.

It was Cas, he was sleeping on Cas. 

Christ, he was so close he was practically in Cas' lap! It was all him too Cas hadn't moved, still securely sat in his corner. 

Okay, he needed a plan, or battle stations, something! He couldn't call for advice so the only option was to get up and hope Cas didn't wake. Taking a breath he pulled himself away from the delicious scent (what the hell product was he using, the guy smelled like a fucking cookie) thinking he'd gotten away with it. 

"Dean?" 

No, no, to cover he grabs the trays and glasses, "Cas, we fell asleep." he tells him praying Cas wasn't fake waking so he didn't have to deal with clingy Dean.

"Here let me help?" offered Cas getting up and bringing Dean right up against those striking blue eyes, he felt held by them like he couldn't move or maybe he just didn't want to.

"Help? No, Cas you're the guest." it still took a moment for Dean to be sure his legs could walk, once he did he was away. Dean gently placed everything in the sink refusing to slam it like he really wanted to since Cas would hear.

"I'm sorry for falling asleep Dean," apologizes Cas when Dean heads back to the sofa, he blinks shakes his head a little at the man, why is Cas apologizing to him? "You went too so much trouble and I couldn't keep my eyes open, but I'd love to do it again sometime?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Well if you'll have me, I wouldn't want to assume." Cas smiled, it was oddly reassuring. 

"Assume all you want," what the hell was that! Had his mouth become independent from his brain. "I mean, it'd be great to do it again, uh maybe a movie?" he suggested.

"Excellent, my brother Gabriel is always taking issue over my lack of pop culture references, perhaps with your help, I could surprise him," queried Cas walking over to the door.

"I've got you covered," Dean followed him wishing they could start now so Cas could stay. Only worked loomed over the horizon, adulting sucked. Opening the door Cas quickly turned to face him.

"Thanks again Dean, I can't believe you went to so much trouble, it really puts me to shame." smiled Cas leaning in.

"It was nothing, really," Dean replied. 

Much to Dean's surprise and perhaps Cas' it doesn't end there, the nights together become almost weekly. More so once Dean finds out how much pop culture Cas is short of, the guy doesn't have a clue about Indiana or even the Ghostbusters. Leaving Dean with no other option but to get him clued up and if that means seeing more of him, that's Dean's cross to bear. 

* * *

Dean really needed a coffee, he'd started work this morning at six and was finally finished. His normal stop for caffeine was just too far away, choosing instead to enter the first place he found. Not once stopping to check out the name of the place since he was too busy worrying over there coffee to foam ratio.

Once inside he can see it's nicely decorated in warm colors, comfy chairs and what he supposes is nice art. He glances up at the board above with the drinks list, oh if he had wanted written proof he shouldn't have come inside its staring at him in black and white.

When did coffee become so expensive? What kind of beans was this place peddling?

Maybe he's overreacting, Bobby pays him well and it's not like he's going to be here every day. Only he has bills and likes giving money to Sam: no matter how much the kid protests it, Dean is the big brother.

Perhaps he could just leave, he could have changed his mind. Would that look weird? Deciding to go for it he readies himself to walk out when all of a sudden Cas is walking toward him holding an empty cup.

"Cas, what are you doing here?" fuck he looked good dressed simply in dark blue jeans and a grey t-shirt, they'd both been so busy lately it had thrown a wrench in their weekly get-togethers.

"Much the same as you I imagine." Cas smiled only it didn't quite reach his eyes, "Are you meeting someone?" 

"No, I just got off work ... but I'm just going to leave," he said not wanting to act weird in front of his crush, especially when he was becoming comfortable around the guy. His blush was becoming less and less even though Cas was just as hot.

"Dean, are you okay?" asks Cas pulling him away from the traffic of the shop, he was literally moments away from pushing past Cas and running home, only that voice has him spilling his secrets.

"Sorry, I can't believe I'm panicking over a cup of coffee." Dean may feel like an idiot but he also feels better from venting, all the while ignoring that (returning) blush, dammit.

"Go sit down and I'll bring you something over, my table's just over there." Cas points to the corner in the window that has a comfy sofa too.

"What, Cas I don't want you buying me things." Dean objects.

"Dean you've cooked my food for weeks and had me over countless times, this is the least I can do, we're friends right?" Dean nods wishing they could be more. 

"So you'll agree that on occasion friends buy each other coffee." fuck.

"Hey, you tricked me!" Cas just winks at him before heading over to the counter, while a huffing Dean goes to sit on the couch. And boy it was a good couch, closing his eyes to enjoy the comfort and feeling of being off his feet.

"Here we go." Dean opens his eyes to Cas setting a tray down with two cups of delicious smelling coffee and what looks like two slices of pie. "Eat the pie Dean, you looked like you were going to fall over." 

Huffing again Dean did as he was told, it felt like Cas was taking care of him and he was beginning to like it, against his better judgment. 

"So tough morning?" Cas asks taking the slice of blueberry after Dean took the pecan, because duh.

"Yeah, we were really busy, how come you're spending a morning in a coffee shop, property slow today." joked Dean finally going in for a piece of pie, God it was delicious and Dean knew pecan pie. 

"A little, Dean I really hope you're not too polite to tell me to get lost." 

"What!" perhaps not the most elegant way of expressing himself but you try going from heavenly pecany goodness to a sentence that makes no, well, sense.

"It just occurred to me that all of our many movie nights are spent at your place, I would hate to be intruding." Cas smiled.

"I'm the one with the DVDs," stated Dean deciding to stick to the facts. 

"True, though maybe we could watch something at mine on Netflix something new to both of us. I'd hate for you to be sitting next to me wishing you didn't have to watch the same thing again." Dean put his fork down (basically unheard of) to rub his neck, for a second Dean thought Cas had been suggesting a Netflix and Chill date. Though truthfully Cas probably didn't know what that entailed.

"Nah, I love all those films, they're classics Cas besides I have to plug this gap of learning you have going on." Dean stopped for a moment unsure if he wanted to divulge this next part, he decided to just say it. "And it's my first place, you know by myself and well I sort of like being able to have people over." 

"I can understand that, but next time I'm ordering us pizza," Dean went to object until Cas put his hand up and he found himself going quiet, "You will eat the pizza Dean, understand?" Oh, that tone was different, in fact, Dean found himself squirming on his seat a little due to a slight decrease of space in his pants. 

* * *

Cas was trying to get his work done only he couldn't stop thinking about Dean. Ever since he had moved in, Cas had been enthralled, his arrival had felt like a turning point. The sight  
of Dean fumbling the box, he was holding before saying hello with blushing cheeks was something Cas liked to revisit, often.

Even more impressive Dean had reached out to him, whether an attempt to conquer his shyness Cas didn't know. The invitation had been a welcome surprise after their chat. Cas definitely wanted something to happen between them, earlier it had been hard to keep his hands to himself.

Seeing Dean looking all lost and tired had him wanting to pull the younger man into his arms, Cas blamed the blushing. He hoped Dean wanted the same but he knew there were things left unsaid, he wasn't sure if he was the best thing for Dean at the moment and felt too scared to risk pushing things.

"I'm back!" Cas jumped his knees colliding painfully with the desk, "Oops, sorry Bro."

The next ten minutes were spent listening to his brother Gabriel wax lyrical about his latest stud muffin he'd met while in California finishing the interior of their latest sale. Hopefully, Gabriel had been able to restrain himself from going too over the top, the purchasing family, were so lovely and Cas really hoped they loved their new home.

This was the part of his job he loves the most, matching homes - which had been transformed from the bare shells Michael found them in - to families

"Cassie, what has your panties in a bunch?" 

"Perhaps that I'm trying to work while you chatter excessively." 

"That's never bothered you before," Gabriel regards him closely which is a bad thing because he's so fucking perceptive, it's only a moment later when he gasps in delight. "You have a crush, oh brother this is awesome news to come home to." 

If only Cas thought so too, it's just he feels so guilty about all the sexy thoughts he's having, Christ Dean's only twenty-four (a young twenty-four) and Cas is past thirty. 

"Oh God, you have that look." 

Cas looks up from his work to meet his brother's eyes, "What look?"

"A guilty one along with the one that makes me think someone kicked your puppy, you know the one you don't have." Maybe he should discuss things, he really doesn't give Gabriel enough credit, with important things he's not half bad.

"Fine, it's a new guy at my building we've been hanging out and he's just lovely. God, Gabriel the way he blushes, he does it so prettily." Gabriel holds up his hand in a stopping gesture.

"Enough Cassie, I don't want cavities without the fun of eating candy, so what's the prob? You're obviously super into him." Gabriel moved to Cas' filing cabinet opening the second drawer he began to rummage.

"What are you doing?"

"Found them!" cheered Gabriel pulling a pack of butterfingers out and digging in, Cas hadn't even known they were there, trust his brother to have stockpiles of candy secreted throughout the office, it sure did explain a few things. "Don't judge me, I need the pick me up after my journey, okay. Besides my free time was spent spiritedly, these college kids Cassie, they've got stamina.

Cas gave his Gabriel eye roll, "Probably because they're ten or more years younger than you." Gabriel's eyes went wide as he placed a hand dramatically against his chest.

"How dare you bring up a ladies age!" once again Cas rolled his eyes, already regretting his decision to share.

"Back to Dean, I do like him but he's young and I think he's had a bad time of it." Cas couldn't be certain for sure it was just something he was sensing.

"Aww, sounds like you're better out of it. You work hard enough without going home for more," he said ripping into his second bar.

"He's not hard work Gabriel, he's lovely. Don't talk about him like that." Dean was special, hell he made the time to befriend Cas.

"I'm serious, you could be having all kinds of sexy fun with anyone rather than showing Dean the ropes and dealing with his trauma. If he's as cute as you say some other guy will be sniffing around soon enough. My advice bro, stay clear and get sexed!" Cas answered with a growl, Dean was his the thought of anyone else showing Dean the ropes had his blood boiling.

Oh!

"Do you need me to continue?" smirked Gabriel looking far too pleased with himself.

"I think you got the point across," replied Cas his voice stern.

"I guess so." Gabriel wiggled his eyebrows.

"That could have massively backfired." 

"Nah, you had that look." looking more closely Cas could see that Gabriel wasn't as shining as he normally was, taking pity on his brother he gestured to the chair across from him.

"So tell me about the stud muffin." 

Finally, a real smile crossed Gabriel's face as he sat down, "I call him Moose." 

 

* * *

Bobby passes Dean a cold beer, he'd come around with a pizza to check on him, in no way to avoid Cas. 

"So what's going on with the fella from your building?" well that worked and fella? who talks like that?

"Who told you!" demands Dean half considering grabbing his pizza and leaving.

"Sam, he wants you to be happy we both do." of course they did, the whole be happy Dean wasn't anything new no doubt they were a month away before they got t-shirts with #TeamDean. He takes a slice of pizza as a way to prolong his answer, fucking meat feast is delicious. It's even better when Sam isn't around laying it on thick that it's a slice of death.

Pizza doesn't need to come with a side of righteousness.

"Happiness isn't always being with someone," he says finally.

"I agree, which is why you took the time to get happy or at ease in your own skin before finding anyone. But it's no longer the case is it." God, for someone who hides their heart under a load of false bark, Bobby can be really deep. 

"Cas is great okay, I really like him, Bobby," Dean admits and it feels good but also means he needs more pizza.

"Then you should go for it, I haven't met the guy hell I've got second and third-hand information from two gossips but I think this could be good for you." Bobby gives him a smile finally taking a slice for himself. 

"But what if it goes to hell, we live in the same building it'll be awkward and stuff." moans Dean.

"What is it with you youngsters, you shouldn't go into a relationship thinking it'll go down the john. It's meant to be exciting and you should carry hope for it, that it'll go right and you won't have to say goodbye to each other." Bobby offered a weak smile his eyes a little watery, Dean knew he was thinking about his wife Karen who he'd been parted from too soon. 

After watching their choice of movie (Thor: Ragnorok because awesome) finishing the pizza and two more beers Dean was feeling more than tipsy. Which had him heading upstairs to his recently old bedroom. 

The room seems so much smaller now considering how much time he spent here. A feeling of what he guesses is pride settles in his stomach, because he's finally doing it, living as he wanted and it's actually working. The only major roadblock is his massive crush on Cas.

He wants to believe what Bobby said, the man hasn't ever set him wrong. Dean hasn't really embraced the whole optimism thing even with Sam as his brother. 

Sure Cas is older, more experienced and oh so hot but Dean wants him. The thought of experiencing any relationship stuff with someone other than Cas feels wrong. Crawling into bed Dean vows that tomorrow he'll ask Cas on a date, he'll be gracious with whatever answer he receives and until then he'll try Bobby's positivity thing. 

* * * 

The next morning Dean opens his eyes to sunshine, feeling too antsy to stay for breakfast Dean's out the door once he's dry from the shower. The tempting smells of Bobby's best pancakes not enough to make him stay.

Which says a lot, though Bobby is nice enough not to comment, giving him a quick hug instead. The drive home grounds him, something Baby never fails to do. 

Dean arrives home happy to see Cas' car in his spot, in fact, he couldn't remember being so happy to see a Prius before. Once, Baby, is safe Dean heads in, completely bypassing his floor heading to the one above, to Cas.

His patience was at a zero, if he had to wait any longer he'd bottle it. Reaching the yellow door Dean knocked. Waiting felt like forever realistically he knew it was minutes and when the door finally opened revealing Cas with bed head wearing sleep trousers and a Nasa t-shirt it felt like seconds.

"Dean! Has something happened?" Cas sounded alarmed, for the first time Dean checked his watch.

It was 8am!

Luckily Cas looked awake, though mildly panicked, "No everything's fine, sorry I thought it was later."

"Have you had breakfast?" Dean shakes his head stilling when Cas takes him by the elbow gently bringing him into the apartment. "Come on through to the kitchen."

Waiting a minute to get his breath back and control of his heart he follows, Cas' apartment is larger and comes with a balcony. He had wondered why Cas was living here considering his job, the answer had been simply because he likes it.

The kitchen is bigger, brighter with all the mod cons, Dean literally only has enough room to swing a cat. The sound of chopping gets his attention, turning to find Cas behind the worktop with an array of vegetables.

God, Sammy would approve. 

"You can cook!" it comes out like an accusation which is certainly not meant. Only the way Cas reacted to his food made him feel good, and it always brought Cas back to him.

Smiling Cas nodded, "Yeah, but not like you." 

"What does that mean?" he asked as Cas continued to chop mushrooms before moving on to peppers.

"It's my day off so I always have a cooked breakfast." Cas stops his chopping coming around the worktop until he's right in front of Dean. "I learned how to cook to provide my brother with food other than sugar, it was born out of necessity. I'm not inventive like you Dean, I know how much you love it because your flair is unmistakable."

Oh.

Dean could feel himself getting all warm from the praise, Cas standing so close wasn't helping either. He could feel all his practice words lodged in his throat, unmoveable, keeping him from what he desperately wanted. 

Sweeping his eyes down to Cas' lips made him realize it was only his voice that was stuck, it was with that thought his body reached forward until his lips were pressed against Cas'. Unfortunately, it was not the red hot passion of his dreams or fantasies but rather stillness, before Cas can hit him with worded rejection Dean runs from the apartment as quick as humanly possible.

Running back down the stairs, his mood in complete polar opposite to when he had ascended them. Dean reaches into his pocket for his keys desperately doing his best not to fumble them.

Failing dexterity on top of everything else would be a real low blow. Managing the door he gets it shut before falling in front of it, not knowing if the fact that Cas hadn't run after him better or worse.

* * *

Sam was lying on his bed feigning sleep while ignoring his housemate, the light sound of his cell had him wishing he'd silenced it. The louder it got he recognized it was Led Zepplin, meaning Dean was calling.

That was odd, his brother knew his schedule better than he did and only called when during his free times. Currently, Sam should be in a lecture. "Hey Dean," he answered lying back down.

"Sammy, are you okay? Don't you have class?" God, his brother was such a worrier.

"Dean you called me, so spill mine can wait." using his brother's life as a distraction was probably going to get him on the faster train to hell, but he needs some kind of distraction.

"I fucked everything up with Cas," said Dean woefully.

"How?"moving again Sam sat across his bed his back snug against the wall.

"I was over at Bobby's for pizza night and we talked, he was being all hopeful and I think I caught it or something. I decided to stay the night because I was a little tipsy." 

"Lightweight," teased Sam.

"Shut up! Anyway, I stayed in my old room and I guess it made me feel proud, you know now that I'm living on my own and I'm still in one piece. So I promised myself I'd ask Cas out on a real date because it's what I want, he's what I want." 

It wasn't often Dean talked like this, Sam liked it when he did, "So what went down, don't tell me he turned you down."

"This morning I was still keyed up, so I went over to his place. I couldn't get the words out Sammy, it was those stupid blue eyes they're just so beautiful. I...uh Sammy, I kissed him."

"Oh, and was he not receptive to that." 

"He just stood there so I ran away." 

"Dean, maybe you just took him by surprise or he was trying to hold himself back. You should talk to him." 

"Hell no Sammy," typical Dean.

"You should before it's too late, Dean this week I met someone and it was amazing. We agreed it would be casual only it wasn't, not really and now he's gone." Sam still couldn't believe how much it hurt or how quickly he'd fallen.

"Can't you call him or something?" ventured Dean.

"We kind of kept it anonymous, I don't even know his real name." 

"What was it like?" 

"Effortless, and we're such polar opposites, he was tiny and loved sugar." Sam rubs his eyes wanting to keep the tears at bay at least until he's off the phone. "He would pull me into his chest and wrap his arms around me, normally my partners don't think to do that." 

"You always were a cuddle monkey," Dean tells him. 

* * *

Days later Dean was doing his best not to run into Cas, he'd managed by working extra and even helping out at The Roadhouse. More than Cas playing on his mind was what Sam had told him about his own heartbreak.

Dean still remembers the night Sam had come into his room a few months after moving in with Bobby. The kid had been beside himself, his face wet with tears and desperate to apologize to Dean about the fact he liked both boys and girls.

For the first time in his life, Dean had been glad that their father hardly ever paid much attention to Sam. His obsession with Dean being his carbon copy meant his little brother flew under the radar, escaping all the horrid vitriol that was never ending. 

Sam never would have believed it anyhow, his brother had the brains.

Working on cars is second nature now, allowing Dean to let his mind wander. He knows ignoring Cas isn't the answer, knew it even without sensing his brother's disappointed face through the phone. 

Sam is really sad, getting eaten up inside by his own inaction. He thinks his brother falls too easily but Sam swore it was real and he'd let it slip through his fingers. 

"It's not too late for you." those had been Sam's parting words, only Dean had been too pigheaded to hear them, now with them echoing in his head he agrees.

It's not too late, Cas doesn't seem angry or at least hasn't come around for his blood, perhaps if he could explain and Cas was on the same page they still had a shot.

God, he wants that chance. Dean figures this is his last big hurdle if he wants to pursue a relationship with Cas he has to tell him the horrid truth. Not only the bits he's deemed suitable but everything, his fears and hopes too.

It's scary, actually, it's fucking terrifying but he wants to do it, in fact, it has to be now or he never will. Pulling back from under the bonnet Dean walks away heading to Bobby's office, luckily (or maybe it's a sign) Charlie is on the phone meaning he can escape her pep talk or whatever.

He really should have never introduced her and Sam.

He makes it ignoring the daggers he can feel boring into his back. Dean's quick to knock the door before she "accidentally" loses the connection. Hearing the usual huff of Bobby he enters the office.

"You got a problem, Dean?" 

"Uh, can I leave early, well now I mean now." 

"That depends are you going to set things right with Castiel." that was it from this moment on Dean no longer had a best friend or brother.

"I'm going to try."

"That's all I ask, Dean."

"Wait, that's it?" 

"What are you still doing here?" this time Dean heeds the words and leaves.

* * *

Pushing away thoughts of everything going wrong again Dean rang the doorbell, for once he was going to get it right. As the door began opening he found himself unable to wait a moment longer quickly blurting out, "I'm sorry for kissing you!"

His mouth snaps shut at the man in front of him, it's not Cas, rather an extremely attractive man in an expensive suit.

Moving his eyes to the left is proof he's got the right apartment at least, (Cas' yellow door is pretty unique) which surely means Cas is dating tall, dark and handsome. Yeah, it's that bad, this guy is all three. His shoulders are broad, hair dark and eyes even darker. His suit is perfectly cut and he holds an air of sophistication far beyond Dean's capabilities.

"Uh, Cas." shouts the man as Dean readies himself to walk away when a voice stops him.

"Dean! What are you doing here?" demands Cas.

"He's sorry for kissing you." Dean turns to stare daggers at this stranger for talking about his troubles so freely, only to find Cas doing it for him. "Why don't I leave you two alone," he suggests moving to grab a suitcase Dean hadn't noticed.

"Please thank you, Michael. I'm sure Gabriel will love to see you." smiled Cas.

"No doubt, it was interesting to meet you, Dean," yeah right, he wasn't returning those platitudes until he knew what was going on. Silence reigned until they were alone, Cas taking the first step.

"Dean, would you come in?" he smiled, "Now my brother has fresh gossip it won't be long until my more gossip inclined brother begins spamming my phone." 

"That was your brother!" what a fucking gene pool!

"Yes, Michael is the eldest, he's away a lot for business and has just returned," informed Cas, so he was still getting it a little wrong.

"I'll come in," smiling Cas stepped aside allowing Dean through to quickly settle himself on the couch, feeling both pleased and a little disappointed when Cas chose the opposite chair.

"Dean, I'm not mad at you for kissing me, more at myself for letting you walk out the door." 

"But I didn't ask."

"Consent is important, I'll never think anything else. That's why I didn't kiss you back Dean, that and you took me rather by surprise."

"I don't understand," responds Dean.

"Not to be dramatic but had I kissed you back it would have been difficult to control myself," replied Cas his facing going red, oh! Dean felt butterflies fill his stomach hearing that.

Holy shit, Cas liked him!

"It took me by surprise too, I came to ask you out, but you said such nice things to me, guess it got the better of me." confessed Dean, deciding to be brave he continued, "So what happens now?"

"That is your decision, I would really love to go on that date though." wow, an actual honest to God offer of a date with Cas!

"Yeah," he wanted to only that hadn't really been why he was had left work to come here. "No, um I mean yes but..." 

"Dean, take a breath." Dean did as instructed, surprised at how good it felt, "Okay continue when you're ready." 

"I do want to go out with you, only I came here to tell you some stuff." 

"Okay, whatever it is Dean it won't change my opinion of you." wow Cas already had an opinion, Dean felt unsure if he wanted to hear it or not.

"It might take me a while to get it out, um Sammy and I grew up in Kansas, it was where our Mom died. Our Dad was never really the same after that, he drank a lot and..." Dean having dropped his eyes to start stole a quick glance at Cas, the man was giving his full attention to Dean that his eyes seemed to be burning. The sight made Dean want to look at Cas instead of the floor.

"He was abusive, physically and emotionally sometimes he didn't even need the drink to be like that. It got worse when he found out about me, I don't even know how he found out, sometimes I think he just sensed it. For John Winchester having a gay son was the worst thing to ever happen to him second to losing his wife." 

"I tried not to be." Dean can't help the tears fall down his face at that, they're words he's never spoken before, to anyone.

"Oh Dean, I'm sorry and I hope you don't feel that way anymore. You're so strong Dean and beautiful." 

"Beautiful? Don't be stupid Cas." that had been the wrong thing to say because suddenly Cas was stood in front on him pulling him up.

"It's true, you're still here living your life. You took a risk befriending me, even with everything you've been through you put yourself out there and Dean, I'm really glad you did." Dean looked deep into Cas' blue eyes for proof of him being mocked but all he found was the truth.

"Um, I'm sort of lacking in experience," admitted Dean wishing the ground would swallow him up.

Smiling Cas took his hand, "Well whenever you feel ready I'm sure that can be remedied, may I suggest a kiss to start?" Dean smiled back feeling cared for and so happy.

"Definitely." 

**Two Months Later**

"What time did you say they'd be here?" Dean turned to find Sam laid back on the sofa, the picture of relaxation. Currently, he wasn't exhibiting any signs of running but Dean had to be prepared, oh he would pounce if need be. 

Sam had returned to Bobby's almost two weeks ago and Dean's constant mother hen behavior (Sam's words, God Dean was allowed to be worried!) had him threatening to pull out of today. The last two months with Cas had been amazing, containing the best sex of Dean's life, certainly not a hard feat after his past encounters. Being with Cas was everything he dreamed he could never have, even better was Cas was one kinky bastard and Dean had discovered his submissive side.

The only downfall to this new life was Cas' eagerness to introduce him to his brother (the other one) so Dean's reasoning being what it was decided if he was getting thrown under the bus then so could Cas. It hadn't been easy but Dean had used all his wiles to put Cas off until Sam returned home.

It would help if Sam was more growly or something, sure his giant of a brother was intimidating at first glance but it took people less than a minute in his company to realize he was a care bear with muscles, but he was all Dean had at hand.

Cas had been the dutiful boyfriend, quick with reassurances that it didn't matter what Gabriel thought or that he could bribe him with candy. Dean was still nervous because this was important, Cas was important.

A knock at the door has those nerves flaring once again, "I guess right now." 

"Jerk,"

"Bitch," yeah, Sam would be okay.

Dean moves to open the door the sight of Cas filling his vision, gladly he stands to stare at his boyfriend (wow) not noticing he's on his own until Sam clears his throat. "Hello Dean, Gabriel will be along in a minute he's currently occupied removing his secret candy out of my apartment." Dean decided to leave that one, how much could there be?

"Okay, well this is my brother Sam, Sam this is Cas." Sam was nice enough to get up and shake hands along with all the other introductory stuff that first meetings deemed polite until Cas asks:

"Has he been panicking?"

"No!" protests Dean.

"All week, it's sweet yet equally annoying," sweet? Dean Winchester wasn't sweet, perhaps introducing them to each other was a bad idea, Sam with Charlie was bad enough. "Right, I'll be in the bathroom," announced Sam.

"That's it!" cried Dean, what about the third degree or whatever.

"Dean, he's being discreet," explains Cas turning to look at him.

"Oh, go ahead," Dean waves his hand at Sam to shoo him away before pulling Cas closer quickly pressing their lips together in a proper greeting.

"Oh yeah! This is the place," Dean turned to find a small man with golden hair and even more striking golden eyes clutching a bag of fun size 100 Grand bars. "Cassie I found them with your dress shirts, thank God! Couldn't locate my musketeers though."

"Gabriel, this is Dean my boyfriend." said Cas taking over proceedings with an efficiency Dean found sexy, "Dean my older brother, Gabriel." with the man's attention off his candy and zeroing in on Dean he had the sudden feeling at being leered at.

"Well Cassie you sure weren't kidding, he's certainly a pretty one." 

"Yes, my pretty one," claims Cas in the voice that has Dean losing space in his pants. "And I think I ate your musketeers," added Cas sending Dean a smirk that told him he knew exactly what that voice was doing to him, the bastard. Gabriel looked personally affronted by the news of his eaten candy bars.

"How could you!" he demanded.

"They were in the kitchen, so I figured I brought them and didn't remember." defended Cas giving Dean an idea.

"Cas, that's the answer, if you start eating his candy he'll stop hiding it at yours." Cas showed his gratitude with a peck to the cheek whereas Gabriel glared a little.

"Devious, Cas I like him." Dean couldn't stop the smile spreading over his face if he tried, it lasted all of two seconds as Sam came out of the bathroom. Couldn't he catch a break, God what if Sam and Gabriel hated each other?

"So have we decided where we're having lunch yet?" asked Sam too busy putting his phone away to make eye contact.

"Sam this is - "attempted Dean once Sam gave his attention only to get cut off.

"Loki?" surprised was laced through Sam's voice as he stared at Gabriel like he was precious.

"Moose, is it really you?" Dean watched gobsmacked as Sam surged forward pulling Gabriel into his arms, what the hell was going on!

"Dean's brother is the stud muffin!" shouted Cas, the way they were looking at each other had Dean thinking lunch would now be a table for two. Eww.

"Hey, Sammy?" Dean waited for the protest only it didn't come, "Can I hide my candy at your place?" 

"Sure, sweetheart." 

"That better not be a euphemism!" warned Dean.


End file.
